Mel guitar3

“You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” Psalm 16:11

Before I ever open my eyes for the day, I say “Good morning God.” I remind myself that I am not on my own, aimlessly adrift in the cosmos. Although my days are brimming with tasks ‘n’ to-dos, there is more. Something deeper stirs. A plan with many levels. Multi-faceted service, purpose, and promise. God has plans for me ( and plans for you). Especially for us. In my case…I like to think of it as a one-of-a-kind incomparable composition.  Or a limited edition, mint masterpiece of Melody. It makes me smile just thinking about it. 🙂

So, how do I know this? How can I be sure He has a path just for me? Because I am wiser or wealthier, more talented or more attractive than average? No, on the contrary. Maybe it’s my serene life, my flawless decision-making, my social connections. Hmm, not so much. Let me share something with you…

I was raised in a Christian home. God, Jesus, the Holy Bible, church, prayer, worship, service… the whole nine yards. Not just my parents, but my grandparents, great-grandparents, their folks, and so on. A great spiritual heritage. God and love and scripture have always been a part of my life. Familiar, comfortable, warm… like nestling by the fire snuggled up in your favorite afghan. I was blessed with tender, wise, trust-worthy mentors from an early age. And I still made mistakes. Some big ones. When I turned 18 years old I met a man. Even though I knew it was ludicrous, I went up to the high school office (just weeks before graduation), signed DOR paperwork, and left school sans diploma. Yes, I did turn around and get my GED (even went on to take classes at the local college and complete other certificate programs) but, not until I had left my parents home – moved in with him and a house full of others – and made quite a mess of my blessed life in a very, very short time. Pregnant, distanced from my loving family, hiding out from God… this is how I began my married life, my “adult” life. Not a smart plan – big mistake! Did I try to fix my marriage, work to build a family, get myself back to God? Yes, I did. However, that didn’t wave my fairy godmother’s magic wand and erase the heart-wrenching consequences of my choices…

I was married for 9 years. I am now divorced. I have four beautiful miracle children. My boys both have autism. My life and soul have expanded into the world of special needs. My eyes have seen the ravages of cancer as it gripped my father’s body and ultimately claimed his life. Unwelcome visitors – pain, loss, and longing have traipsed alongside me over the last decade. Sometimes there by my own foolish mistaken invitation. Others, through no fault or control of my own. I have certainly made some mistakes. And I suspect, so long as I have breath within me, that I will again. But, that is not all. That is not “my story.”

I have also bathed in the crystal clear pools of love, joy, passion, and peace. I’ve beheld unparalleled blessing and beauty. Songs and words, music and musings bubble up like a spring inside of me. The source is not my own but, the Spirit – God’s Spirit. The well that can never run dry. The drink that never smacks of bitterness. You know what? I’ll tell you a little secret. 😉 There are dreams still inside of me. Plans swirling. I wanna sing for God. I wanna write for Him. I wanna change the world for Him. And – I wanna partner in all that. Yes, I “work” for Him now in my own quiet way. And that is a wonderful, awesome thing. But, here’s the “secret” part… I’ve never really said it all out loud before (so bear with me if I whisper it in hushed tones). ***This isn’t all. He has bigger plans for me still. Things that I never dared to dream before. I can feel it. It’s coming…*** No, I don’t know exactly how they’ll come to fruition yet. No, I can’t see all the way down the path, through the trees and brush, to the very end. I haven’t arrived at the destination but, the journey has already begun.

Are there things I would do over again? Decisions I might unmake? Roads I wouldn’t have traveled? Though intriguing questions, they aren’t really the ones that matter. Does God still love me? Can He/will He use me in spite of my mishaps? Am I armed with faith and hope, ready to march along my winding (sometimes hazy) path, hand-in-hand with Him? Yes…yes… and…yes! That is the sheer glory of it! It isn’t all about me. What I can do. Where I’ve been. Who I know. It is about God’s path, God’s presence, God’s pleasure. Yes, I have made some mistakes but, I am still His Melody and He is still my marvelous Maker. We modify, we meditate, we maneuver together. So, look out world… here we come! 🙂

Advertisements