Firsts
“And let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross!” Hebrews 12:1,2
As a child I used to think grief faded away like scratches or scrapes as they healed. The person that experienced the grief would always know it was there but, as time went by it would eventually vanish altogether. Of course, as I grew and began to have my own personal experiences with grief I realized that although God is faithful to help us along the journey, it doesn’t completely disappear until we get to heaven. Yes, it is a blessing and relief to know we won’t always feel that terrible shock and crushing weight every day, all day - the way we did in the beginning. However, no matter how many years have passed, there are certain times when it’s suddenly upon us. Like we’ve been swept onto the Grief Express, bulleted back in time and soul to those first days. There are various catalysts. Certain seasons, the holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, other special occasions such as births, graduations, etc., even particular songs, movies, or locations, but one that often goes overlooked… firsts.
I had a first in my life this past weekend. Perhaps a small, insignificant thing to some but, a wonderful, exciting, challenging, new thing to me. I ran my first race ever. Yes, it was just a little 5ker. No, I didn’t have the fastest time. But, it was all mine. Me and Jesus running along together. Making it up that ginormous, unrelenting hill. Wind in the face, sweat beading, shins aching we ran and ran. It was an amazing thing. I am a very new runner (only about 6 months) and I never thought I would be one. As a matter of fact, I used to tease my brother-in-law who has always been a runner (an awesome, super speedy one at that). I would tell him running for fun is nuts. “You run when you’re in danger or someone has threatened your life,” I would chide him. But, here I am – a runner. Not only am I running, I’m racing. God is so cool. Something I never thought I would do has turned into something I adore. I am looking forward to many more miles and many more races.
My running is not about anyone or anything but me and my Creator doin’ our thing. But, I have to say that on that June morning in downtown Kansas City at the Hospital Hill Run, something special happened. My brother-in-law, sister, mom, nieces, and nephew were all there. Billy and I had our bib numbers pinned on (he ran the 10k and came in first in his age division btw) and took a picture together. There were over 5000 runners and thousands more volunteers and spectators bustling about. The energy was palpable. The weather was perfect. Although I loved seeing my family cheer me on, sprinting across the finish line, and hanging that 5k finishers medal around my neck… my favorite part was the start.
The air crackling with elecrticity from all those runners. Music blasting, announcers calling out over the loudspeakers, people shouting their encouragement, intensity oozing from our pores as we took our places at the starting line under the big blue banner. And right before the countdown begins, I hear a familiar tune blaring out across the sea of runners, flowing over the crowds. “The Eye of the Tiger.” Rocky music! That’s all it took. That one song and I shut my eyes for just a moment to see my dad. He loved that movie and of course, that song. I see him in my mind, shaking his clinched fist in the air, smilin’ big like all of Texas, cheering me on. For just a second I am overwhelmed. Feeling like I’m barreling down the tracks in that ol’ Grief Express and wishing so bad that my daddy was there for this first of mine. But, then the Lord tenderly reminds me that he is. Both my father’s, my heavenly Dad and my earthly one, the two of them, were there all along. So proud of me. So excited for their Melody girl. I feel wrapped up in joy, peace, love, and 5…4…3…2…1 RACE!!!
Looking forward to running with you on those heavenly streets of gold daddy Brad! I love you!
Oh Melody tears were in my eyes as I looked at your precious face in these photos even BEFORE I read the post. God bless you as you run with and for the Lord.
That is beautiful Melody. I so admire you and your determination. Congratulations on your ‘first’.
just wait for the real pain to start. jk good job and looking forward to more races together
Congratulations, Melody! n vhfj fgngberi Ummmm, that last part was from Daniel. I think he also says, “Congratulations!” We are proud of your hard work.
You go girl…love the pics! Maybe next year I can run with you.
a LUMP. pain. sadness. a sigh. realization (again) of our reality. Missing him with you sis.
Congratulations! That is an accomplishment. I really want to start running next year (after the baby!).
And I so know what you mean about the Grief Express. It picks me up and wisks me away every time I hear “It is Well.”
Nice work Melody! Although I still think running is completely nuts
Beautifully written, my friend. I felt like I was there. Love you so. Good for you…That is incredible…..
Barb
What a great accomplishment Melody. I m extremely proud of you.
I know how hard you worked to be able to run that first race, as well as how many obstacles got thrown in your path on the way to that first race, right up to very start of the race! I have come to learn that doubting your ability to do anything that you decide to do is simply the wrong thing to do. You have shown time and again just how strong a person you are in the face of crushing adversity and daunting challenges. This is just another example of why I have come to respect and admire you so much. One of the words that comes to mind so often when I think of you is “courage”. You are courageous time and time again when life throws you new challenges and new obstacles to be overcome. God bless as you continue to overcome the obstacles of life.
Dearest Melody,
I wrote a comment a while back and then didn’t add my email address so when I hit submit the comment disappeared. I didn’t have the umph to re-write at that time, but today I do.
I am so proud of you for how you are using running to improve your body, clear your mind and draw your spirit closer to the Lord. I know that you have to submit every day to the Lord regarding when, how and even if you’ll get to run for a while. Isn’t it amazing how the Lord loves us so much that He will use anything and everything to draw us closer and closer to Him.
I am also very proud of you for writing not only about the running and this first race but for being willing to “put it out there” regarding the connection and the missing of your dear daddy. My heart hurts for you and your sissy over the loss of your father, and my heart sores high with joy and pride over the way you both continue to remember and honor him too.
I pray for you every day.
Love, Mom
Congrats, every step forward counts, keep running, you will find yourself reminded that like everyone of us is unique, so are we as runners, some fast, some slow, some with long gazelle like legs and some just slogging through. Congrats again and keep running