Melody: Behind “the music,” a look inside

 

 

 

“Ever be filled with the Spirit by speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns, by making melody in your heart, and by being grateful.”

Ephesians 5:18    

 

     Even as a little freckle-faced girl with jet black hair and green eyes, I’ve always known some things for sure. Down in my gut. In the deep. I knew Jesus loved me, my family loved me, and that someday He wanted for me to be a wife and mom who was crazy in love with Him and all that He gave me. From as early on as I can remember, I dreamed about, sang out, hoped for, and joyed in those things. 

     Being raised in a Christ-centered home helped me get to know my Great Love, Jesus from a tender age. Of course, I wasn’t a perfect angel by any means, but for most of my life I stayed near my family and near my God with fairly minor speed bumps along life’s road. When I was eighteen years old I made a “U-turn” on my highway to adulthood (although at the time I’d convinced myself it was a shortcut instead). Suddenly, I left my parent’s home and moved in with a houseful of total strangers (including a special young man I barely knew). I “became an adult,” basically overnight. In doing so I grieved my family, and yes myself, but most importantly I turned my back on my True Love. As the days passed, God wept for me. He called to me, whispering to me in my dreams, “My Melody… come back to Me, love.” Almost as soon as it had begun, my detour “ended.” In a few short months, I was racing down the “free way” back home… destination – Jesus. But, this time (little did I know) two were coming home and my “new route” had just begun.

     Over the next ten years many things came into my life. Some I invited, others not. There was staggering beauty, laughter, joy, fear, sorrow, and tremendous pain. Births and deaths, health and sickness, marriage and divorce. Yet, always there was the sweet romance of my Savior, holding me close. Sometimes we’d dance and others I would simply collapse into His arms of grace. There were nights when I would lift my voice in praise and I swear I could hear the strains of His harmonies sung right back to me. Even when my singing turned to cries for mercy, I still knew His love because I knew Him, and He is love.

     And all this time, as our love affair has grown, my heart still beats out those things that little Melody knew for sure. It beats for Jesus – always for Him. And He, my Heart, pumps through my veins the blessed gift of motherhood, the love for my family, but wait… something’s missing… my heart skips a beat… 

     Like a bar of music with a rest in place where a note should be. The song itself is still beautiful and to the listener’s ear, nothing imparticular amiss, but The Composer knows. He’s picked just the right note, but for now… a rest is in order.  I don’t pretend to understand why or for how long. So I sing the song just as it’s written. Still though, I listen carefully with open ears and heart - knowing that one day, God will add His special note to this Melody of love. And when He does, what a duet that will be!

~ by melodymilbrandt on June 15, 2008.